About Dreaming in Celadon

I started the first version of my site in early 2024. The plan was to use it as a space to put words that I had bottled up. In time, it grew as I devised all kinds of little plans and played with it. Most ideas were abandoned, of course! I never did make a shrines section. But I realized that is because my site is very simple. It's in itself a shrine to show my love of the written word. Not much has brought me the sheer amount of comfort, love, despair, and joy as it has. So instead of extolling the value of Ghibli, tea, and shitty music (which I still love even if not digitally enshrined), I realized that this is enough.

This space also serves as a statement of sorts for me. By letting it exist quietly, with no goals, monetary ambitions, or need for recognition, it became a powerful reminder. A reminder that not everything I do needs to be tied to what is societally percieved as value. That what I value as a person matters more than the molds that I did not choose. And that if I had a frustration at the ubiquity of everything seemingly being tied to value, that change starts from within. That I would be happier if instead of wishing for better, I can create something better. On my terms, with no apology, and the exhilarating freedom of doing something I love.

Dreaming in Celadon was a bit of an accident. You see, I really wanted to be Dreaming in Neon. But neon was taken, as people before me saw the coolness of it :p But I like celadon more now. Because every dream I have is bundled in the very desire to live serenely. I'm autistic, and I already live in neon intensity, so yeah. Celadon was a happy accident and I stopped begrudging the person who gets to contemplate the merits of neon.

What I mean is, each act of speech stands on the belief that someone will hear. My note to Miri says more than just I’m lonely. Invisibly it says that I know she will see this, and that when she sees this it will turn her, turn her back, return her.
– Helen Oyeyemi (White is for Witching)