...

I have been watching a lot of Studio Ghibli movies lately. It's turned into a small weekend ritual. Usually on a Sunday, I pick up my knitting project and choose a Blu-ray from my collection. The disc format was intentional. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with options. I started my collection to narrow my focus, instead of allowing it to be scattered by what some call the tyranny of choice. It's very possibly the same reason that drives people nowadays to collect vinyl records. An urgent need for physicality and breathing room, in an increasingly abstract world. A craving for something tangible.

I remember once seeing a short video explaining the iconic train scene in Spirited Away. How the scene was intentionally added to allow the viewer to breathe. The story to that point was action-packed, as well as full with world-building information. It was when I saw that explanation that it clicked with me why Studio Ghibli resonated with me. There are many reasons, but I get overwhelmed easily. I need these intermissions. Stories are designed to evoke an emotional response, and unfortunately I have developed in time a sensitivity to human emotion that makes most movies or TV shows a harrowing, draining experience. I have at times tried to ignore that fact to bond with others, but it has hurt me. I decided to limit my consumption of TV/movies to the most simple, cozy, and heartwarming stories to build my tolerance. And I think it's working. I was a teary mess when I watched When Marnie Was There a month or so back. But yesterday, I watched The Secret World of Arrietty and only teared up slightly once.

In Japan, they use the word Ma (間) for meaningful pauses or spaces or negative spaces. We all need Ma. As an autistic woman, I realized that I need to be intentional and integrate Ma to process things. It is beyond essential for me. I just... almost can't live in real-time. I need to process and life seldom hands me that. I live like a turtle and always know when I push too much in my days. I have subconsciously integrated Ma in my life in a few ways:

• Choosing analog hobbies
• Sometimes playing music in physical formats
• Religiously protecting areas of my house from clutter to provide pockets of calm
• Choosing media that adheres to my needs and pausing as needed
• Occasionally choosing silence instead of background sounds or music
• Avoiding multitasking (or what I call quick switches as true multitasking is a myth, at least for humans)
• Starting my days early. I still haven't figured out the perfect timing, but I do need longer days to account for the fact that I get drained about intensive tasks and need breaks integrated in my schedule

I'm not an expert at Ma... but it's turning a bit into a special interest, so perhaps I will be a Ma savant by the end of this journey. This is why life is so beautiful. When we reach our attention to beyond our day-to-day, we can grow in the most magical ways.

Ma in Media

Books

• Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery
• The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Graham
• The Soul of an Octopus by Sy Montgomery
• The Housekeeper and the Professor by Yoko Ogawa

Movies

• My Neighbor Totoro
• Lost in Translation
• Amélie

Music

• In a Sentimental Mood by John Coltrane and Duke Ellington
• Gymnopédies by Erik Satie
• Blackbird by The Beatles

Art

• The Great Wave off Kanagawa by Hokusai
• Starry Night by Vincent van Gogh
• Walk on the Beach by Joaquín Sorolla

Video Games

• Professor Layton Series (multi-platform)
• Stardew Valley (multi-platform)
• Kind Words (lo fi chill beats to write to) (Steam)
• Animal Crossing: New Horizons (Switch)

You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.
Franz Kafka