Lately I have been thinking a lot about how autism truly affects me. I usually think of the high-level traits that make some things easier, yet some things more difficult. But as I try to do deeper dives on how to make my life a little easier, and to design a lifestyle that balances my needs with the things that need to be done, I figured I can do what I always do and write a short bullet list of tendencies and behaviors that I display because I am neurodivergent. I think I will slowly look at the ones that are affecting my mental health the most to process my life against those traits. Anyway, here's my wonderfully handy and concise list of things I do because I am autistic:
- I forget to drink water.
- I get stuck in “waiting mode" when I have appointments or errands to run, making it hard to focus on those days.
- I am sensitive to changes.
- I struggle with ambigous communication or requirements (like “later" vs “this evening").
- I am a picky eater.
- I arrive to my appointments very early.
- I love bullet lists.
- When I like a piece of clothing, I will buy it in different colors.
- I feel more comfortable with my hair in a pony tail.
- I feel distressed in crowds and in noisy places.
- I like clothes that are too large. Tight clothing makes me feel ill at ease.
- I do a lot of hobbies/tasks every day and then feel like I did nothing.
- I often get what I call "fevers" which is wanting to binge on any given hobby before moving on to the next one.
- I get annoyed if I am focused and am interrupted.
- I need a lot of alone time.
- I am clumsy, especially if I need to focus on more than one thing at the same time.
- I shutdown when overwhelmed.
- I have a keen sense of justice and fairness.
- I don't recognize my own emotions or have a delay to recognize them.
- I prefer slow, mundane, repetitive tasks or actions.
Let your need guide your behavior.
– Lewis Carroll (Alice's Adventures in Wonderland)