...

If sometimes you had asked are you ok, perhaps we would have been friends.

If sometimes you said good night, perhaps I would have trusted you.

If sometimes you said I am here, I would have stayed.

If sometimes you would have kissed my forehead, hugged me close, showed your care, I would have opened up.

If you would have met me halfway, you would have known me.

If your words had matched your actions, I would have understood.

But "if" is nothing, want is not a foundation, and wishes are not action. All I have left are vague memories of your favorite candy, the states you lived in, the way you laughed when something funny surprised you. Your warm voice and your cold silences. Crumbs of knowing as meager as the crumbs that grew ever smaller before I walked away. I'm so used to missing you, that this feels not different in the slightest.

All the fear has left me now
I'm not frightened anymore
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh
It's my mouth that pushes out this breath

And if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love

Companion to our demons
They will dance, and we will play
With chairs, candles and cloth
Making darkness in the day
It'll be easy to look in or out
Upstream or down without a thought

And if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love

Peace in the struggle
To find peace
Comfort on the way
To comfort

And if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love
I won't fear love
I won't fear love
And if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love
I won't fear love
I won't fear love

And if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage–
– Sarah McLachlan (Fumbling Towards Ecstasy)