1. I have discovered that one trick for me to feel a habit is worth pursuing is to reframe the goal of that habit to be a short term gain. I exercise for anxiety relief and ignore worrying about anything else.
  2. Through a gap in the forest I saw a tree being cut. There was something about that tableau that gave me a subtle ache.
  3. I saw in an office once a person that had been hurt, holding a little pink cosmetic bag. Something about that bag made me want to protect her from this asshole world.
  4. All I want for Christmas is a normal day. A nice BORING, mundane day.
  5. One heart cannot sustain two souls.
  6. I heard in a video that what allistic people regard as overthinking is business as usual for ND folk and I was like dang... this is SO TRUE. I never really had framed it like that.
  7. Is strength just... doing the thing even if I want to scream into a void? Is it deciding to show up in whatever way I can, even if imperfect? Slow?
  8. For better or worse, I can be a mirror. If you don’t like how I treat you… they are based on the norms you set on how we should treat each other.
  9. I don’t feel safe yet. I feel… Maybe I am closer to it. But that promise of safety feels too tenuous, fragile. Survival mode feels safer.
  10. Current obsessions: The Hundred Line -Last Defense Academy- (still haha), brewing cardamom pods with my coffee grounds. Popcorn. Linen fabric.
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What’s nurtured slowly grows well.
– Haruki Murakami (Sputnik Sweetheart)