1. Sometimes I wonder if I'll finally exhaust all my words here. I hope so. For the past almost 2 years of this practice, I was able to process a lot of things, was able to label and know myself better, and had the luxury to indulge in the written word like I hadn't done in decades. Though doing the right thing hurts, lately I am doing it and not holding on to trauma bonds and loops like safety blankets. I faltered a lot too, making small wins and then major failures. I think it's ok. I'm not afraid of mistakes anymore.
  2. My knitting is meh lately. I started a puff daddy ottoman thingie to destash but even though it's just a jumbo garter stitch rectangle I'm not enjoying it. I did cast on some lovely socks today called Shell Cottage Socks by Helen Stewart in Malabrigo Ultimate sock in a color called Arapey and it's sooooooo PRETTY and perfect in that colorway.
  3. My spooky reading is... not going so hot. I started strong with cute graphic novels but stalled on The Elementals by Michael McDowell. His prose is fantastic, but this family is so wannabe edgelord that I cringe every time I read more. I'm horrified, in a bad way. I did read a cool creepy manga called Another by Yukito Ayatsuji and Hiro Kiyohara which was really really good. I might just put The Elementals aside and focus on other reads so I get some more spooky vibes in before the end of the month. Kinda excited to read more of the Sworn Soldier series by T Kingfisher and I do like to add a classic to the roster to round it out.
  4. I want to run a 5K race next year. It's nice to have a dream to work toward in the short term, isn't it? Maybe by spring it should be feasible to try. Though I messed up SO BAD on Friday and overtrained and hurt myself a bit, so I'll take it a day at a time and only run when ready. They do walks too so the dream is doable in stages haha. The big dream is hermit cottage fantasy™ and overnight train trip™, of course, but those are at least a decade away so smaller goals will motivate me and get me out of this emotional blasé feeling I've had lately.
  5. Speaking of training, It's been almost 7 months since I started integrating exercise daily. I wanted to reflect about it. I thought that movement was THE missing piece to heal anxiety. And it's helped a good amount. I have a way to release energy and feeling my health thrive is in its own way a massive reward. It didn't cure my anxiety, and truth be told might make it worse on the days that I push harder (cortisol). But it's part of the picture I think. Along with awareness, journaling here, setting boundaries, allowing my mind to slow down, indulging in hobbies, drinking tea, etc.
  6. Have you ever had a broken heart and suddenly noticed that person's name is crazy common? I don't know why I thought of that. I like to think of names though. I remember how in the world of Earthsea, names are sacred. To the extent that one's true name should only be told to very trusted confidants only. I wonder who I would share a secret name with. Who would you share your secret name to?
  7. Current Obsessions: Adding new songs to my Pretty Chill playlist (obsessed with Strawberry Acai by I'MIN and getting into Flux Vortex), redrawing old things, still playing Atelier Resleriana.
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She’d hoped to outlive tears, move beyond them to an arid landscape where they never flowed.
– Laura Purcell (The Silent Companions)