This morning I got a call from one of my favorite colleagues. I was excited to discuss a project... but that wasn't why I got the call. My company did layoffs again yesterday and it affected my team again. I think this is the 3rd or 4th round this year. It's been every year since 2020. It's almost Christmas. I was working on a project but took a break to write because I feel grief trapped under my ribs. I'm tired of losing collegues. It's like I don't have a job anymore. I play a game of battle royale that makes me question not if I will be affected, but when. I don't have much more to say. I just feel pain for my collegue, who is a hard worker, intelligent, and caring.