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I’ve noticed a societal trend to make glossed apologies. Perhaps it’s a passive aggressive response to cancel culture. Or a rebellion to protect our right to be individuals. Or self protection. Whether it’s a headline or within my personal experience, it’s a bit horrifying to see these noncommittal apologies. Like:

I am sorry to those that were hurt by my actions

Or

I’m sorry if I hurt you

I feel this is a red flag. Whether at a macro or micro level, how can we trust honest, vulnerable connections to ourselves, our partners, friends, colleagues, and communities if we are so scared to face reality? Has social media or entertainment or Instagram filters abstracted us so far from reality that we cannot bear the work of looking deep? Of building solid, real things?

We are not always right. We are only truly wrong when we try to bend reality to our selfish fantasies.

So I would like to now repeat my own apologies here. The ones I made before. The ones I healed building from. And the ones that had to be the final word before parting.

I am sorry for not showing you my soul.
I am sorry I disappeared.
I am sorry I never responded to your last email.
I am sorry for when I didn’t listen or glossed over your emotions.
I am sorry for expecting too much and not showing grace.
I am sorry for the times I was too much.
I’m sorry when I worried you with my hopelessness.
I am sorry for the times I was too cowardly to do the right thing.
I am sorry for the times I chose my freedom over you.
I am sorry for not telling you I loved you.
And I am sorry for falling out of love with you.

And the thing I am never sorry about.

I am not sorry for disengaging from your exploitation of my kindness.