It has been a bit of a crazy weekend. K got sick last week, and we let her rest and gave her Sudafed so any congestion wouldn't trigger her sensory sensitivities. Usually a cold is more dangerous in the regard that she WILL become dehydrated if we don't target her stuffiness and stop her from throwing up. But as the days passed, she was still queasy, and looking wan. Which of course terrified me. The only other time I remember her getting so lethargic is when she would get ear infections, and she passed the age of those. We ended up going to Urgent Care yesterday and I'm relieved I did because within 20 minutes of her getting swabbed, I got a ping on my phone that her strep test came positive. She's now 24 hours into her round of antibiotics, still looking wan, but I can tell the edge of her lethargy is softened now and I'm crossing my fingers that the medicine kicks that stupid bacteria's butt soon.

Life feels so odd when she is like this. The house feels too quiet, I feel anxious and fret over every little minutiae of her demeanor. I hover in and out, and feel too leery to sleep. I started playing Pokémon LeafGreen (it was my first entry I played and I wanted comfort gaming) but I feel too restless to focus. So I wrote a letter, read a little bit on and off, and cooked and baked in between my check-ins. I felt it would be better to let my nervous energy out. I tried to exercise while she slept, but I still felt antsy.

Then I made her a pain de mie. She's not eating yet, but I wanted to have some extra special bread to have as her first meal when she craved food again. Pain de mie is to me a bit magical. A perfect rectangular block; and enriched with eggs, milk and butter. The pan and the dough make for a tender, almost spongy crumb. Not very different from Japanese Milk Bread. Just less sweet. She's not fond of sweeter breads. Then I made a spice cake with thick glaze, sprinkled with toasted pecans. And caramel sauce. And arroz con gandules, una ensaladita, pollo salteado. Which was not smart of me. I'm not even that hungry. I just wanted to not sit and feel worse.

I always fret a lot when she's like this. Logically, I know she is ok. Her vitals were good. She ran a mild fever which dissipated quickly. She drinks water and walks herself to take her baths. It's just... mom drama I guess. I want her fine and I want to hear her talking about those annoying ass Sprunki things she likes, and her making me repeat phrases and never being satisfied with my delivery.