I was sitting in the yard knitting the other afternoon. It was a sunny day, but a touch nippy, so I took a blanket with me to cover my legs. I soon realized my choice of blanket could have been better considered when I saw big, adorably rotund bee buzz closely, seemingly checking out the purported wares! You see, the blanket is a fleece affair, bright, and with a beautiful pattern of flowers tumbling all over.
Once upon a time, before I was born, there was a genre called "beautiful music." It was a radio format of instrumental music that brings to mind the soundtrack of an old movie, or the type one that would have felt appropriate to shop to at Sears, as one picked up one's Christmas layaway items. Eventually the genre fell out of favor and was replaced with easy listening, but there are uploads of radio recordings of it when it was in its heydey. It's cool to play for the vibes!
I requested the 19th and 20th off from my work. I like to take some time when the season turns as a tiny reboot. It seems to me that the best way to enjoy time off is to have a small list of possible things to do to choose from as my fancy strikes. What book I read next, what to cast on my needles, a recipe tucked aside for making, a small variety of videos to queue, a Blu-Ray to watch. If I dive in my spare time with no idea what I want, I drift endlessly, scroll on my phone, and waste my precious free time. So in my upcoming time off I decided to cast on a male sized Petty Harbor sock for future gifting, work on my fermentation projects, bake an oatmeal chocolate chip cake with chocolate glaze, make small batch jam, check my plants, watch The Wind Rises and some cozy YouTube videos if I feel like listening to something whilst I knit. To make some time to sit in the yard, continue keeping my home tidy, take a walk. Read Monthly in the Garden with my Landlord and either Cybernetic Tea Shop, or the Monk and Robot series, or Garden Spells. Or a mix of those! And tea. Lots of hot tea to warm me. It sounds like a lot, but I have 4 days to pick and choose which things will feel the best to indulge in.
Some parents use the tactic of telling their children their life experiences in a misguided effort to ensure their kids "toughen up." I think I understand the sentiment, at least to an extent. The world can have sharp edges and sometimes protecting is knowing when to walk that tightrope of hardness and softness. But I don't think I would ever abide using my life as a sword to corral my child. At least not in a self righteous manner. No one needs to earn their place in life by suffering. There is no extra merit badge we get when our heart hurts that would be worth the pain of enduring. I worry a lot. Sometimes the thought of her vulnerability builds a knot in my chest and I just wish I knew how to keep her safe while conveying harsh realities. Is it like a vaccine? To educate her being a type of inoculation via knowledge transfer? Is it being like an ancient tree? There so steadfastly that she doesn't teach herself to feel unsafe? I can never grasp the big answers, and the little answers are so minute that I do not know if at least cumulatively I am wholesome and good for her.
This week I remembered some of the books I read when I was a pre-teen/teen for some random reason. I remember one called The Island of the Blue Dolphins. I remember specifically something the narrator says. Something about how she wanted to make a tool or maybe a boat, but it was hard because though she watched someone make it many times, she did not look with "the eyes of someone that will make it" or something to that tune. That always stuck with me. How what we capture with our gaze can vary depending how we point it. Another one was a YA sci-fi called Eva. It was about a girl who had an accident fatal to her body, but was given a new lease in life when her consciousness and memories is ported to the body and brain of a chimpanzee. It was short and geared to younger people, but I remember the story tackled a massive amount of philosophical and ethical questions.
I've had a New England style hot dog pan for years that I neglected to use. Last weekend I finally had the epiphany that I should make my usual roll/bun dough, use 680 gr of it to make the buns (I found a recipe that says to use ~68 gr per bun and there are 10 wells in the pan) and made a few hamburger buns with the rest. And IT WORKED!!!! It was a lot easier too then when I made hot dog buns sans the pan. I'm extra hyped now for grilling season 🙌🙌🙌
My herbs are doing well, I've been using them in some dishes ^_^ That was the dream haha. To prissily go to the plant and snip a few leaves for dinner.
Current Obsessions: Video essays, bagel bites. Long reading sessions, researching jam recipes. Spring.
Sometimes you have to hold a person, though they’ll mistake embrace for strangulation. – Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone (This is How You Lose the Time War)
